Have you ever walked through a church and just felt lonely? Did you feel like not a single person truly knew who you were? Funny, weren’t you supposed to make the best friends ever at church? Feeling lonely at church is, unfortunately, somewhat common because many people find it challenging to be honest. 

The struggle to be honest within the church is real. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll offend someone with your opinion. Or, perhaps, you’re concerned people will look at you differently. So instead of sharing yourself with others, you only share a tiny, preapproved piece. Because if you only share that piece of yourself, then you can’t get hurt. If you can’t be honest with people, how can you build lasting friendships?  

If you can’t form true friendships while at church, it’s easy to feel lonely every time you step in the building. So, let’s dig a little deeper and think through why people may have a hard time being honest in the church. Here are some reasons people may struggle with being honest at church. 

Reason #1: You fear that your secrets may be spilled as a prayer request

If you’ve been attending a church for a while, there’s a good chance that you’re involved and have a solid friend group. If you’re new to the church, it may take a while to form a close-knit circle of friends. Either way, being honest at church can be a challenge sometimes. Some people find that if they share their deepest, darkest secrets with others that their honesty will bite them in the behind. Let’s take Bible study groups for example: Sometimes those prayer requests sound a little bit more like high school gossip. And nobody wants to be the talk of the prayer group simply because they shared something in confidence.  

Reason #2: You fear that your honesty may be turned into a weapon

Baring your soul is hard. It’s hard to trust someone with your darkest secrets because there is always the fear that the person you trusted will out you. Maybe your secret isn’t that dark. Maybe it’s something like differing political beliefs. But sharing your heart can be a challenge for many people because they fear their honesty may be turned into a weapon against them. 

Reason #3: Honesty is hard

Why is it so hard to just be honest? Shouldn’t expressing our true feelings and beliefs be something we all do? The answer is yes, but it should be done in the correct way. Many times, it’s hard to be honest with others in the church because of one fear: the fear of being judged.

Regardless of why you’re afraid to be honest in the church, here are some reasons you should try it out:

• Jesus wants you to find forgiveness. By not being honest with people, it’s easy to not be honest with ourselves. In some cases, you may find that by being honest with others in the church about your struggles, you’ll be able to accept forgiveness.

• Fellowship is important. You can’t build true, lasting relationships without honesty. God wants us to build strong, Christian communities to support each other. We need our village.

• Lay down your burdens. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders is so heavy. By sharing your burdens with others, you can ease the weight on yourself.

• You can find acceptance. Your secrets aren’t too big for Jesus, and you can find acceptance within the church.

Are you tired of pretending, of hiding who you are or pretending like everything is all right when it isn’t? If you’re ready to find freedom and rest, it’s time to be honest with someone in the church. 

Centerpoint Church is ready to walk with you on your faith journey

At Centerpoint, our community believes in purpose and passion, and we would love to walk with you on your journey in finding yours. Do you want to grow in your faith, or are you simply curious about who this Jesus guy is? You’re not alone. We encourage you to listen to our series online and welcome you to come to one of our Sunday morning services in Valrico, Florida.