“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  - Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Those fruits of the spirit listed above are outpourings of what it looks like when someone is overflowing with the Holy Spirit. This is the image of a spiritually healthy person, one whose heart aligns with God’s heart.

Nowhere in this list is the word “overwhelmed” or anything of the sort. Actually, being overwhelmed is often an antithesis of what is described as a fruit of the spirit. For most of us, being overwhelmed looks like anything but being joyful, peaceful, kind or patient.

Now, that does not mean that we all don’t feel overwhelmed at some times in life. But experiencing overwhelm and being overwhelmed are two entirely different things. Being overwhelmed implies that someone is constantly feeling like their hair is on fire, too many tasks to get done and just drowning in an endless sea of to-dos. Constantly. That type of lifestyle is not spiritually healthy because it’s not how we were created to live. It doesn’t allow for rest, which is something God talks about 231 times in the Old Testament alone. It also doesn’t allow for the fruits of the Spirit to grow in our lives.

The key to not being an overwhelmed person is to recognize the red flags and have a plan in place to force yourself to slow down.

It should be recognized that in some cases, not being overwhelmed is a privilege. If you’re a single parent working long hours to make ends meet and trying to raise your kids, then your season of overwhelm is a lot more intense than what we’re about to talk about. But there are still ways to help move things off your plate, and we want to walk alongside you and help you find some breathing room because that is what the Church is here to do.

Recognize the red flags of overwhelm

Most of us don’t wake up one morning as an overwhelmed person. Rarely do we schedule our calendars and purposefully fill it to the brim just for the heck of it. Overwhelm happens slowly. It is the default to not being intentional about our time.

Think about how you fill up a calendar; you write down all the things you have to do — appointments, soccer practice, tasks due, etc. — and pretty soon, your calendar is looking crazy full. That overwhelmed feeling creeps in, and we start to feel the angst of not having enough time. Keep that feeling going, and we may start to feel like people are taking our time. Like we no longer have control over our schedules, and we are held hostage by other people’s priorities over our lives. Continue down this path, and you will run into a breeding ground for anger, impatience and sometimes flat-out resentment.

Isn’t overwhelm fun?

Like we said, no one chooses to be an overwhelmed person. It just kind of happens. But when we start to feel those warning signs of frustration and burn out, there are some things we can do to back up, slow down and align the rhythm of our lives with how God intended.

Be intentional with your time

Let’s go back to the calendar analogy. If getting overwhelmed happens because we let our calendar fill up with to-dos and events that slowly consume our free time and breathing room, then what would happen if we started our calendar by filling in our breathing room first?

What if our calendar looked like this:

7:00 - 7:30: coffee/breakfast with family

5:30 - 6:30: dinner with family

9:00 - 10:30: family time/decompress from the daytime

8:00 Saturday mornings: walk/alone time outdoors

12:00 Wednesdays: lunch with a friend at work

What if we started scheduling in our priorities first, and then filling in the pieces around what actually matters?

Now, again we recognize that scheduling priorities over to-dos is a luxury that not everyone has. Going back to the single-parent-working-long-hours example, you can’t always change your work schedule to accommodate for free time. Sometimes life is busy and there is only so much you can change about that. However, that leads us to our next point.

Find your people

Take a good look at your list. Chances are, there are some things you can delegate to other people. Maybe have some kids take a few of the chores off your plate? Work out a system to swap off with a local parent to drive the kids to and from practice after school. It may feel like you are the only one in the world who can do all the things, but truthfully, there is always room to ask for help. The problem is that we don’t want to inconvenience anyone. But by not asking for help, we are drowning under our list of things to do, and the people closest to us are the ones suffering.

A recent study shows that 39% of parents spend 30 minutes or less with their kids during weekdays. We allow our busy schedule to rob us of the time with our children that we will never get back. That should be motivation enough to reach out and ask for help.

If you don’t have a group of people around you to whom you can reach out, then reach out to a local church. There are great organizations in the area that can help take something off your plate to free up a little bit of breathing room. Even something small like dropping off dinner saves you the time of cooking, so you can sit and eat with your babies for a few minutes.

Take back your peace

God did not intend us to live at a breakneck pace. Rest is a huge priority for God. We all know that God rested on the seventh day of creation, but think about God’s thoughts on rest this way: When God was establishing the rules for Israel when setting the Israelites up as a new nation, He prioritized a mandated day of rest over commands like don’t kill and don’t steal. It was as if God knew that rest sets the tone for our spiritual health and well-being. Imagine if America had a law about forcing us to rest. We would probably take it seriously. But yet somehow we forget that God, Creator and ruler of all nations, mandates our rest. We just have to slow down and listen.

If you need help slowing down or finding a group of people to help carry the load of life, check out our small groups. Our groups are designed so you don’t have to go it alone. We all need a tribe in life. Let us help you find yours.