Two lies we need to stop believing about being single

Just think about all the popular shows that contribute to our perception of what it means to be single. “New Girl.” “The Mindy Project.” “Sex and the City.” Some people may even remember ‘90s classics like “Living Single.”

Most of these shows are built on the stereotype of young, carefree single people and their entertaining antics. Sure, the characters go through trials and tribulations, but there’s still a sense that the life they live isn’t truly real. The reason is, it’s not. 

The reality of being single is often a far cry from what we see in our favorite media, and there are two lies in particular that we need to stop believing about being single. 

1. A single person’s dating life is an open book.

One lie that has developed because of how singles are portrayed in the media is that everyone and anyone has the right to know everything about a single person’s dating life. That may be true for fictional characters. After all, shows wouldn’t be very good if we didn’t find out things about the characters.

However, real-life singles often suffer for the cultural mindset that this toxic openness has created. People you barely know from work or school feel like they can ask you all about your dating life. Even your family can be guilty of probing shamelessly into your dating life. 

Most people mean well when they ask you about this part of your life, but askers also need to be aware that their questions might get unintended reactions. For instance, your questions might trigger discomfort or even emotional pain in a single person who has just broken up with someone. Single people should also remember that you don’t have to share details about your dating life with anyone who hasn’t earned your trust. 

2. Single = selfish.

Media portrayals of single people have also fostered a lie that single people are selfish. The logic behind this lie goes something like this: 

1. Single people have lots of free time.

2. Single people don’t have to spend money on anyone but themselves.

3. Single people don’t have to answer to their parents or kids.

Let’s start with this final point of logic. It’s not really true that single people don’t have to answer to anyone. They have to answer to their supervisors at work, and many of them still have a healthy respect for the views of their parents. Even more telling, Christian singles are aware that they must ultimately answer to God. 

As for the second point, single people may have many calls on their money. For instance, college graduates often have a lot of student loan debt they’re paying back. Yet, even if a single person’s money is tight, they may still surprise a friend with a coffee or give an offering to their church or a charitable organization. 

The lie also causes others to get things wrong about how much free time many singles have. Many younger singles work long hours at low-paying jobs, and they still make time to help out married friends or family members. In fact, single people are often a married couple’s go-to for help babysitting their kids for an evening, or they might be the person who makes sure a grandparent’s grass gets cut every week. 

It’s easy to buy into the myths and lies around what it means to be single, but the truth is, we really shouldn’t. Instead, we should take the time to truly get to know the single people in our lives and take them for who they are, not for who we think they should be. 

Centerpoint Church is ready to walk with you on your faith journey

At Centerpoint, our community believes in purpose and passion, and we would love to walk with you on your journey in finding yours. We understand how it feels to struggle to find a place to belong, which is why we strive to welcome people of all types and backgrounds into our community. 

Do you want to grow in your faith, or are you simply curious about who this Jesus guy is? You’re not alone. We encourage you to listen to our series online and welcome you to come to one of our Sunday morning services in Valrico, Florida.