Five things to consider before leaving a church because of conflict

Conflict happens in church just as much as it can happen anywhere else. Sadly, this leads to people leaving the church, but sometimes, it can be the right decision. If you’re considering leaving your church because of a conflict, here are some things to keep in mind before making a decision:

1. It’s OK to leave a church

Some people are pretty critical of others who leave a church, but sometimes it really is in your best interest. People who are in toxic relationships or have toxic friends need to get away from them. Sadly, the same kind of toxic people can permeate a church community, and your only choice in some scenarios might be to leave.

If you truly feel it’s best for you to leave a church, don’t let others guilt you into staying. If any community is harmful for your mental health (and, God forbid, your physical health) then you need to get out.

2. Check your other reasons for leaving

Don’t use a conflict as an excuse to leave. That could ultimately hurt others in the community and be confusing. If you have other reasons for leaving, such as disagreements on teachings or if you simply don’t like the music, then be honest about them. 

Whether these are good reasons for leaving or not, people deserve to know the truth so they don’t feel like they have to pretend they’re perfect or they’ll scare people away. 

3. Remember what’s good

Does your church have a pattern of conflict and discord? Or is the conflict your church is experiencing more atypical? Before leaving your community at the first signs of conflict, try to remember what’s good in the first place. 

If your community has done a lot of good, not just for you but for others too, then you might want to consider staying and working through the conflict. 

4. Try to resolve the conflict

Part of the reason so many churches split over and over like cells dividing is because people aren’t willing to work through conflict. Traits like pride, stubbornness and fear of vulnerability make people unwilling to work through conflict. When you have a community of people who are all behaving this way, it’s likely to divide. However, if someone or a group of people are willing to work on resolving the conflict and healing, the community may be better because of it.

If you are considering leaving your church because of conflict, ask yourself if you've tried to be a part of the solution first. If you’ve tried and the problem persists or is getting worse, defer back to the first point and ask yourself if it’s really in your best interest to leave. 

5. Find a new community

Many people leave church and never come back. Sadly, this leads to being void of community. The church is a body of people who should love and support one another. Its people become friends, host events, feed one another, help one another through hard times. ... When you leave the church, it can be hard to find anything else like it.

If you need to leave your church community, don’t let yourself become isolated. Look for another community that aligns with your views and is loving and welcoming toward you. 

Centerpoint Church strives to be a loving and welcoming community that is safe for people of all types. If you’re looking for a new community to call home, we’d love to connect with you and join you on your faith journey.