Kindness in Conflict - How to love your adversaries

Sometimes, when we have disagreements with others, it can be hard to be kind. The Bible doesn’t just tell us to be kind, it tells us how to be kind, even when things are tough. It's like a secret code for turning conflicts into chances to be nice! 

In Proverbs 25:21-22, it says, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you." Now, this might sound a bit strange, but it's simply saying, "When someone is mean, be nice to them, and it can make things better!"

Practical Ways to Be Nice

Listen Well

When people are upset, it's important to listen carefully. Ask questions to understand why they feel a certain way. By genuinely seeking to understand the perspectives of others, we open the door to empathy. Realize that behind every argument is a person with unique experiences and emotions. Take a moment to listen, not just to respond but to comprehend.

Example: Imagine a heated debate at work. Instead of immediately defending your stance, actively listen to your coworker's concerns. Ask questions to gain a deeper understanding of their viewpoint, creating a foundation for constructive dialogue.

Respond with Empathy

Being kind means thinking about how others feel. Even if we don't agree, we can try to understand why someone might be upset. When emotions are running high, responding with empathy can defuse tension and build bridges. Recognize that everyone has their struggles, and a compassionate response can be a powerful step towards resolution.

Example: Discussions around upcoming elections are always a great place to practice empathy. Instead of reacting defensively, acknowledge the emotions involved, express understanding, and seek common ground.

Commit Acts of Service

This passage in Proverbs encourages us to respond to our adversaries' needs with kindness. This might seem counterintuitive, but extending a helping hand can break down barriers. Offering to serve your neighbor can also shift your own attitude. It opens the door and allows us to see things from another person’s point of view more clearly. 

Example: If you're facing a conflict with a neighbor, take a moment to offer assistance. Perhaps mow their lawn, shovel their driveway, or bring over a homemade meal. Acts of kindness can soften hearts and create opportunities for dialogue.

Choose Your Words Wisely

Words are like magic – they can hurt or help. It’s important to use words that are kind and respectful. In conflicts, choosing words carefully can make the difference between escalation and resolution. Speak with kindness and respect, avoiding inflammatory language that may further strain relationships.

Example: In a heated discussion with a friend, refrain from using accusatory language. Instead, express your feelings using "I" statements, fostering a more open and understanding conversation.

Conclusion

It is easy to get caught up in disagreements. Having the last word or proving your point might feel thrilling in the moment, but it’s not who we’ve been called to be as Christians. 

Jesus said that we would be known by our love (John 13:35). He didn’t say we’d be known by our correctness, our political affiliation, or our power, but by our love. The words of Proverbs tell us how we can live out this love even in the presence of our enemies. By listening well, understanding others' feelings, doing nice things, and choosing good words, we can make our world a better place. It's like having a superpower that turns conflicts into opportunities to be kind and share Christ. 

Centerpoint Church is ready to walk with you on your faith journey.

At Centerpoint, our community believes in purpose and passion, and we would love to walk with you on your journey in finding yours. We know that repairing relationships that have been plagued with conflict can be painful and complicated, which is why we addressed it in our recent Re-Assembly Required message series.  

Do you want to grow in your faith, or are you simply curious about who this Jesus guy is? You’re not alone. We encourage you to listen to our series online and welcome you to come to one of our Sunday morning services in Valrico, Florida.