Why is it frequently so hard to forgive?

One of the major recurring lessons throughout the Bible is forgiveness. God forgives us for our sins. We are supposed to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings, and we are supposed to forgive others when they do wrong against us. However, forgiveness often turns out to be one of the most challenging actions for us to take. Why is this the case?

Forgiveness isn’t something that exactly comes naturally. When it comes to wrongdoings, our innate sense of justice kicks in and we want to see the offending party punished. That’s actually what makes forgiveness beautiful: It transcends our baser behaviors of personal justice and revenge.

Forgiveness takes practice. And practice requires reflection. And reflecting requires you to know why it is hard to forgive in the first place. Take a look below to identify some of the hurdles you might face when it comes to forgiveness.

Why is it hard to forgive?

• Retaliation is a knee-jerk reaction ⁠— When someone hurts you, the immediate instinct is to retaliate, right? Because of this, you might respond in anger or hold on to bitterness rather than forgive. Ultimately, this begets a cycle of more anger and wrongdoing that many of us find ourselves trapped in.
  

• Forgiveness doesn’t erase the transgression ⁠— When someone hurts you, forgiving them doesn’t remove whatever it is they have done. Because of this, it’s usually tempting to hold on to bitterness or to let guilt loom over the offending party as a form of retaliation or perceived justice. However, the looming guilt of the offender and the bitterness of the offended are harmful for everybody involved.
  

• Fear of getting hurt prevents forgiveness ⁠— Most people have been hurt more than once. Many times, people can be hurt by the same offender multiple times. Because of this, those individuals can develop a defense mechanism in which they withhold forgiveness out of fear of future pain from the offending party or someone similar. 

Centerpoint Church is ready to walk with you on your faith journey

At Centerpoint, we believe forgiveness is vital to the Christian faith and is powerful in a world full of those who would rather have personal justice or revenge. We would love to join you on your journey in exploring fundamentals like forgiveness and growing in your relationship with the Lord. We hope to meet you at one of our three services on Sunday morning in Valrico, Florida.